Monday, January 28, 2008
Posted by Mzwoodhunter at 7:26 PM
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Posted by Mzwoodhunter at 5:43 PM
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Posted by Mzwoodhunter at 1:25 PM
Thursday, December 20, 2007
I am not sure if you have ever been to one of my favorite spots in the world, but if you haven't you should. I am talking about The Crescent City. I have been a lot of places but no where is quite like New Orleans. The have their own grammar. If you ask me it's like visiting a different country. There is no place quite like it. One of my best friends is from there. It didn't seem to matter when I called her and told her that I was on my way she would tell me that my room would be ready. She moved before Katrina's bitch ass drowned the city. It breaks my heart to see what has happened to it. I was there not too long ago for Mardi Gras. After two years later shit is still real fucked up. But this story is way before Katrina. Folks were still listening to Master P instead of Lil Romeo when this took place.
This was one of the many times that I have called my big lil sister from the N.O. and told her that I was on my way. By this time she had moved out of the city and moved to the suburbs. As usual my room was ready. She moved into a really cute two story townhouse. I loved her old house though. Her daddy lived in the back house. There seemed to always be some broads back there too. After my friend would go to work he would go and get us a beer and that was breakfast. We did that the entire week of Mardi Gras on one of my earlier trips. There were these hoes that lived next door or somewhere real close. To get to where her daddy lived you had to either open the gate or go through the house. Well these broads would jump the fence. They would walk up the porch and hop down on the other side of the fence. I don't know if my friend gave them the name or I did. They were the rail hopping hoes. Her daddy may not have been a player but I think he played one on TV.
Anyway on to the story. My friend loved these little hole in the wall spots there are little corner bars sprinkled everywhere throughout the city. She loved the 9th ward, and I did too. There was never a dull moment. I was told that I couldn't bring in a comb to one spot we went to. I was told that some girls have been known to use it as a weapon. The bouncer told me to either put it back in the car or trash it. In the trash it went. I wish that I could remember the name of this spot she took me to, but it burned down a year or two after this trip. The place wasn't that big, but there seemed to be a million people in there. I don't even remember a dance floor but folks were dancing. The chicks out there love shaking that ass. I remember a line of them dancing solo facing the wall shakin what they mamma gave em! There were more people outside the bar then in. They were playing a lot of New Orleans music and this little bar was jumping. If there is one thing I know the dudes love the dreads there. Dreads heads were floating in and out of the bar. If you have dreads in the N. O. it is damn near like a camouflage. There was folks smoking weed in the club it was pure comedy. There was this real tall chocolate man that walks in. I am short but still it seemed like he was a good foot and a half taller then me. I love something that I can climb on. I have a soft spot for those tall lanky men. It's juicy too. Well my friend knows this big tree of a man. His name was Khalil. I am not sure how the conversation started but I am glad it did. Some of my friends call me Woody. I am almost sure that is how I was introduced. Maybe that is how what happened did. Now we all know that there are a few men who lie on their dick. They swear that they are breaking backs. Then when you get to the nitty gritty you feel like you should have just masturbated. Or at the very least left your clothes on. There are also the men who brag how big their dick is. When you see it all you can think is, "Damn!?!" "Is that it?"
Khalil hung out was in and out the bar most of the night like everyone else. Some how I kinda sorta started the conversation of dick size. I mean he is tall and lanky and that usually means a big dick right? It is not guaranteed trust me. but you usually cannot lose with the basketball build. That reminds me of a different whore story. I will tell you about that one at another time...Now back to Khalil. He was going on and on about what he was working with. There is nothing like hearing a New Orleans man speak. Beh-beh! I love the way they say baby. The first trip there I told the boys that my name was Baby. Just to hear them say it. By this time I had grown tired of this man talking about his meat flute and what he could do with it. So I asked to see it. Now right there in front of God and everyone this man pulls it out. Not the least be ashamed. I wish I had a picture of my face at that moment. I have never been so shocked in my life. On most occasions once you ask to see the dick the man will usually shut the fuck up, try to change the subject, or makeup some lame ass story why they can't. Not Mr. Khalil OH no indeed! He just stood there bow legged with this big black dick in his hand. It wasn't even hard but I new without a doubt this had to be the biggest dick I had ever seen! He had his dick in one hand and a smile on his face as if he was saying, "Now What?" Now me not wanting to be outdone I yell.
There are no waitresses in this joint, but I had to do or say something because that big dick had me shook. Khalil calls my bluff though and he is like,
"So, what's up? Are we rolling?"
How romantic huh? I laugh because that is what I do when I get nervous. My big lil sis is just looking at me like you got yo ass into this. She is just standing there laughing at me. Ain't this some shit? Once again my big ass mouth has gotten my ass in trouble. My reply was that I had to ask my friend if he could come over. I was still in shock at what had just happened. I was shocked and horny at the same time. Khalil had Miss Kitty thumping! It felt like my coo coo had her own heart beat.
Now he is going on and on about me wanting to see and asking what I was going to do with it. I was thinking that I was on vacation why not! He asked if I had some condoms. Well of course I do. I keep condoms as if they were my American Express. I never leave home without them. So I ask my big lil sis if he can come over. She said that she didn't care, and that was that off we go.
When we get to her place Khalil and I go to my room so that I could be properly introduced to his bayou boogie. So when we get into the room he starts to undress. We lay on the bed an start touching one another. Now I thought that he had a big dick in the bar. It was only until we started touching each other that I realized what I seen at the bar was just a preview of what was to cum. His sleeping monster was awakened by my touch. I like to rub my thumb over the head of a hard penis down the grove in the center. The head of a penis always reminds me of a fireman hat. We are about to get busy so I get the condoms out. I hand one to Khalil he looks at it then me he says .
"What do you mean damn?" I say
"You don't have any Magnums?'
Well no I didn't have any damn Magnums. I had never seen anything like what this man had between his legs. I had condoms I always do. I wasn't used to fucking with donkey dicks. Now he's pissed. He was saying shit like I should have know he couldn't fit all that dick into one of those little ass condoms. Well that was the end of that. He couldn't fit the condom and neither of us was fucking without one. I roll one way and he rolls another and we fall asleep, or I pass out one. His phone rings a few hours later and he leaves. I knew that the next time I seen him I would have some Magnums. Since that day I carry two condoms in my purse at all times. I keep a regular condom for the regular dicks and a Magnum for the dicks that are Magnum.
All I know is that he and I have some unfinished business. If by chance I do run into him I'll be prepared trust me. I would ask my big lil sis if she had seen him or heard what ever happened to him. Khalil either died or was displaced like so many others. No one knew whatever happened to him after Katrina drowned the city.
Posted by Mzwoodhunter at 9:25 PM
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Posted by Mzwoodhunter at 6:58 PM
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Posted by Mzwoodhunter at 1:40 PM